You have many feelings and parts inside you that act like a small team — some protect you, some hold pain, and some try to keep things running. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps you meet those inner parts, learn what they need, and let your calm, confident Self lead so your inner team can work together.
This approach shows how anxiety, depression, and relationship struggles often come from conflicts among parts rather than a single “problem” you must fix. You will learn how IFS sessions work, the common types of parts people meet, what to expect in therapy, and how this method compares to other treatments.
If you want practical help for life transitions, couples or family issues, or ongoing anxiety and depression, Tides Mental Health offers IFS-informed care both virtually and in person in the Chicago area to support your path forward.
What Is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) sees your mind as made of different “parts” that hold feelings, roles, and memories. It centers a calm, curious core Self that can listen, lead, and heal those parts so you feel more balanced and less stuck.
Key Concepts
IFS identifies distinct internal parts such as Protectors, Exiles, and the Self. Protectors keep you safe by managing emotions or behavior.
They show up as self-criticism, anxiety, or avoidance. Exiles hold painful memories and raw emotions that Protectors try to hide from your awareness.
The Self is a calm, curious, confident place inside you capable of steady leadership. Therapy helps you access this Self to meet parts without judgment.
You learn to notice parts’ roles, name them, and ask what they need. That process reduces conflict between parts and lowers symptoms like anxiety or depression.
IFS uses gentle, respectful dialogue with parts. You practice watching thoughts and feelings as separate voices.
Over time, parts shift from extreme roles to more flexible, helpful roles.
History and Origins
IFS began in the 1980s, developed by Richard Schwartz from family systems ideas. Schwartz noticed people’s inner voices act like family members with roles, so he adapted family therapy ideas to the individual mind.
Early work focused on trauma, where painful experiences split off into wounded parts. Clinical research and practice spread IFS into trauma care, depression treatment, and general counseling.
Many clinicians now use IFS in individual and couples therapy. Tides Mental Health offers IFS-informed therapy for adults, mainly by virtual sessions and in-person work in the Chicago area.
IFS evolved through clinical observations, trainings, and case studies. Its roots in systemic theory help explain why parts influence each other and why you can change patterns by shifting internal relationships.
Core Principles
IFS rests on a few clear rules: multiplicity, non-pathology, and leadership by Self. Multiplicity means having many parts is normal.
Non-pathology means parts try to help, even if their methods cause problems. You treat parts with respect rather than labeling them as “bad.”
Leadership by Self means your calm center guides internal healing. Therapists help you cultivate Self qualities: curiosity, compassion, clarity, confidence, courage, creativity, connectedness, and calm (the “8 Cs”).
These traits help you negotiate with parts and change patterns. Therapy methods include tracking sensations, asking parts questions, and creating internal dialogues.
Sessions usually focus on adult issues like anxiety, depression, life transitions, and relationship conflicts. If you want guided IFS therapy, Tides Mental Health provides primarily virtual appointments (about 60–70%) and in-person sessions in Chicago (about 30–40%), with plans to expand into child and adolescent care.
How Internal Family Systems Therapy Works
IFS helps you map and relate to the different inner parts that shape your feelings and actions. It shows you how to access your calm, wise Self to lead internal change and uses guided dialogue to soothe and shift parts that cause anxiety, depression, or relationship conflicts.
Identifying Parts
IFS teaches you to notice distinct parts that hold thoughts, feelings, or roles. You might find a critic that says you’re not good enough, a protector that avoids risk, or a vulnerable part that holds shame or grief.
Each part has a function: protect you from pain, keep you safe, or carry old wounds. Your therapist helps you track physical sensations, images, and patterns of behavior that clue you into which part is active.
You learn to name and describe parts without judgment. Naming makes parts less overwhelming and helps you see their intentions and fears.
You will also learn to spot extreme roles: “managers” try to control daily life, “firefighters” act quickly to numb pain, and “exiles” hold the raw hurt. Recognizing these roles lets you work with them instead of being driven by them.
The Role of the Self
IFS centers on your Self as the natural leader inside you. The Self is curious, calm, compassionate, and clear.
When you access your Self, you can listen to parts with steady presence instead of reacting in fear or shame. Your therapist guides you to strengthen self-leadership through small practices.
These include slowing down, focusing on breath and body signals, and checking in with parts from a calm stance. As Self gains trust, parts relax and share their needs and memories more honestly.
You use Self to assess which parts need protection, healing, or unburdening. This shift reduces symptoms like panic or self-criticism because parts feel heard and cared for rather than forced or ignored.
Internal Dialogue Process
IFS uses structured inner conversations to change how parts relate. Your therapist asks you to speak to a part and then let the part reply.
You might ask a critic what it fears or ask a protector what it is trying to prevent. These dialogues unfold in short, focused steps.
You invite the part to describe its role, the belief it holds, and the feeling it carries. Then you offer Self-led responses: calm questions, reassurance, or practical changes to meet the part’s needs.
Over time, parts reveal the memories and beliefs that formed them. With Self present, you help the part release extreme burdens—like shame or rage—and adopt healthier roles.
This process reduces anxiety and depressive patterns and improves how you handle life transitions and relationships. If you want guided IFS work, Tides Mental Health offers virtual sessions and in-person care in the Chicago area to support anxiety, depression, and couples or family concerns.
Types of Parts in Internal Family Systems Therapy
You will learn about three main kinds of internal parts and how they act to protect you. Knowing their roles helps you work with feelings like anxiety, shame, and sudden urges.
Exiles
Exiles hold painful memories, shame, or deep sadness that come from past hurts. They often appear as strong emotions when something in your life triggers an old wound.
Exiles feel vulnerable and isolated, and other parts work hard to keep them out of your daily awareness. When an exile gets activated, you might freeze, withdraw, or relive upsetting images.
In IFS work, you gently access exiles while staying connected to your Self so the memory can be felt, understood, and healed. This reduces the exile’s power and lowers chronic anxiety or depression tied to past events.
If you choose therapy with Tides Mental Health, your therapist will help you meet exiles slowly and safely. This can happen in virtual sessions or in-person in the Chicago area, depending on your preference.
Managers
Managers try to keep you safe by controlling daily life and preventing pain from rising up. They plan, criticize, overwork, or stay perfectionistic to avoid triggers.
Managers aim to maintain order and predictability so exiles stay contained. You might notice managers as constant self-talk, rigid routines, or avoidance of close relationships.
They can feel harsh or demanding, but they act out of care: they fear what will happen if an exile floods your system. In IFS, you learn to thank managers for their intention while negotiating safer, less extreme strategies.
Managers respond well to therapy that builds internal trust. Tides Mental Health offers structured sessions to slowly shift managers’ strategies, reducing anxiety and improving relationships.
Most clients use virtual care, with in-person options in Chicago when needed.
Firefighters
Firefighters act fast and impulsively when exiles break through. They use distraction or drastic behaviors—like bingeing, substance use, or angry outbursts—to douse intense feelings.
Their goal is immediate relief, not long-term change. You will notice firefighters during crisis moments when you need to escape emotional pain quickly.
Firefighters can harm relationships or create cycles of shame that feed exiles afterward. IFS helps you recognize triggers, calm firefighters safely, and teach them healthier coping tools.
In therapy with Tides Mental Health, you’ll practice grounding and alternate coping skills to replace dangerous firefighting moves. This work often unfolds over several virtual sessions, with in-person support in Chicago for clients who prefer face-to-face care.
Benefits of Internal Family Systems Therapy
IFS helps you reduce symptoms, build self-leadership, and improve how you relate to others. It does this by teaching you to understand inner parts, calm protective responses, and bring your core Self to guide choices.
Mental Health Improvements
IFS often lowers anxiety and depression by helping you notice the parts that trigger worry or sadness. You learn specific skills to unblend from a part so it no longer runs your thoughts and body.
That reduces panic episodes, racing thoughts, and constant low mood. Many people report clearer sleep, fewer intrusive memories, and less emotional reactivity after working with parts that hold trauma.
You gain tools to manage symptoms between sessions, and therapists at Tides Mental Health can support this work virtually or in-person in Chicago. IFS also reduces self-criticism by helping you meet the critical part with curiosity instead of shame.
Over time, that change eases persistent guilt and helps you make calmer decisions.
Personal Growth
IFS strengthens your sense of Self so you can act with calmness, clarity, and compassion. You practice listening to different parts and making choices that align with your values rather than old protective patterns.
This approach helps during life transitions—career changes, grief, or becoming a parent—because you can identify parts that resist change and negotiate with them. You build skills to face uncertainty without getting overwhelmed.
Tides Mental Health offers mostly virtual sessions, making this steady work accessible.
Relationship Enhancement
IFS improves how you relate by teaching you to spot which parts show up during conflict. You learn to respond from your Self rather than from a reactive part, which lowers blame, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Couples and family work using IFS highlights each person’s parts so you can name patterns and stop repeating hurtful cycles. You get practical communication moves—pausing, describing a part, and inviting curiosity—that reduce escalation in real time.
Tides Mental Health provides couples and family counseling to help you practice these skills both online and at our Chicago office. This hands-on practice often leads to more trust, better listening, and clearer boundaries.
Conditions Treated With Internal Family Systems Therapy
IFS helps you target specific patterns inside your mind that keep pain, fear, or harmful habits active. It connects your calm, curious Self with wounded or protective parts so you can reduce symptoms and build different, healthier reactions.
Trauma Recovery
IFS treats trauma by helping you safely meet parts that hold painful memories, shame, or rage. You learn to unblend from those parts so they are less reactive.
That lets you describe traumatic memories without feeling overwhelmed. Therapists guide you to access your Self — calm, curious, and compassionate — and then soothe and reorganize the parts that were forced into extreme roles after trauma.
This often lowers flashbacks, hypervigilance, and emotional numbing.\ You can expect paced work: stabilization first, then targeted processing of parts that carry the trauma, and finally integration so daily life feels safer.
Tides Mental Health offers trauma-focused IFS both virtually and in person in Chicago. Virtual sessions let you keep continuity of care while you build trust and stabilize reactions.
Anxiety and Depression
IFS frames anxiety and depression as parts trying to protect you or react to past pain. You identify anxious parts that push worry and avoidant parts that keep you isolated.
Depressed parts may hold hopeless beliefs or numbness. You work to get curious with those parts instead of fighting them.
That reduces rumination and catastrophic thinking. As protective parts feel heard, they loosen control.
Treatment often combines weekly sessions, part-mapping exercises, and skills to increase present-moment calm. Many people see lower symptom levels within months, especially when you commit to regular sessions.
Tides Mental Health provides IFS for anxiety and depression with mostly virtual options and in-person care in Chicago to fit your needs.
Addiction
IFS approaches addiction as a symptom of parts trying to cope with pain, shame, or loneliness. You identify the parts that seek relief through substances or behaviors and explore what they tried to protect you from.
That insight shifts the focus from moral judgment to practical care. Therapists help you meet the parts that crave using and the parts that shame you afterward.
You learn to offer those parts alternative roles and healthier coping skills. Relapse triggers get mapped to specific parts and situations so you can plan responses that reduce risk.
Recovery work often pairs IFS with relapse prevention, peer supports, and routines that strengthen your Self. Tides Mental Health supports this path with virtual sessions and Chicago-based in-person care to help you stay consistent.
What to Expect in an Internal Family Systems Therapy Session
You will meet parts of yourself with calm guidance. Sessions move between short check-ins, focused parts work, and reflection so you notice feelings, thoughts, and body sensations as they arise.
Session Structure
Sessions usually last 45–60 minutes. You and the therapist start with a brief check-in about mood, sleep, and events since your last session.
This helps decide what part or issue to focus on that day. The main work follows: you slow down, notice a part (like an inner critic or anxious part), and describe its feelings, images, and body sensations.
The therapist helps you ask that part respectful questions so it feels heard. If a part is overwhelmed, the therapist may use grounding or breathing first.
Sessions end with a short reflection and a plan for skills or experiments to try between sessions. You can choose virtual or in-person sessions.
About 60–70% of sessions are available online, and in-person meetings take place in the Chicago area.
Therapist’s Role
Your therapist guides and holds a safe space. They help you access your Self—calm, clear, and curious—so parts can speak without being forced.
They do not merge with your parts or tell you what to feel. Expect the therapist to use gentle questions, track your body sensations, and model how to relate to parts with respect.
They will pause you if a part becomes too activated and offer grounding techniques. The therapist also helps you set small goals, like practicing a short dialogue with a part between sessions.
If you seek care for anxiety, depression, life changes, or family/couples issues, they tailor the pacing and focus to those needs. Tides Mental Health offers this approach in virtual and Chicago-based in-person formats.
Client Experience
You will learn to notice and name your parts. Early sessions often feel like mapping: you identify protectors (those that push you forward) and exiles (those that hold pain).
Expect emotional moments but not pressure to relive trauma. You stay in control of pace and depth.
You might do inner dialogues, imagery, or mindful body checks. Some sessions focus on skill-building—breathing, grounding, or brief experiments with a part—so you can practice between sessions.
If you prefer couples or family work, sessions may include multiple people with parts work adapted to group dynamics. Tides Mental Health can support adult-focused therapy now and plans to expand services for children and teens later.
Comparing Internal Family Systems Therapy to Other Modalities
IFS treats your mind as having many parts with a calm, curious Self at the center. It helps you identify protective parts, soothe wounded parts, and build cooperation among them.
IFS often focuses on inner relationships and the role each part plays in anxiety, depression, and life transitions.
Differences From Traditional Therapy
Traditional therapies often concentrate on changing thoughts or behaviors directly. For example, CBT targets distorted thinking and teaches skills to alter behavior patterns.
IFS instead helps you locate the part driving the thought or behavior, listen to its needs, and transform its role from within. You take an active, observational stance in IFS.
You learn to access your Self and lead internal parts rather than relying mainly on external techniques. This makes IFS useful when emotions feel stuck or when patterns return after symptom relief.
IFS sessions often move more slowly and explore emotion and history in depth. If you seek help for anxiety, depression, or relationship patterns, IFS gives tools to resolve root causes, not only symptoms.
Tides Mental Health offers IFS-informed care both virtually and in-person in Chicago.
Integration With Other Approaches
You can use IFS alongside other evidence-based methods. Therapists often combine IFS with CBT to blend skill training with inner-part work.
EMDR or trauma-focused techniques can pair with IFS to stabilize parts before memory processing. Integration keeps treatment practical and flexible.
For anxiety or depression, a therapist might teach breathing or behavioral activation while also guiding you to dialogue with an anxious or depressed part. This dual path addresses immediate coping and deeper healing.
If you prefer virtual sessions, about 60–70% of Tides Mental Health work is online, with 30–40% available in-person in Chicago. That mix lets you choose what fits your schedule while getting integrative care tailored to your needs.
Training and Certification for Internal Family Systems Therapists
You can train in Internal Family Systems (IFS) through progressive levels that build skills from basic parts work to advanced clinical use. Level 1 covers core ideas and simple practices you can use with adults dealing with anxiety, depression, life transitions, and relationship issues.
Level 2 and Level 3 deepen clinical skills and focus on complex presentations and trauma work. Certification pathways usually combine taught workshops, supervised practice, and demonstration of competency.
Typical components:
- Live training hours (in-person or virtual)
- Supervised clinical hours working with clients
- Case consultations and recorded session reviews
- Final assessment or certification review
You will find many trainings now offered mostly online, which fits well if you prefer virtual learning. About 60–70% of sessions and supervision take place virtually, while 30–40% occur in person.
If you want in-person options, Tides Mental Health offers Chicago-based training and clinical practice opportunities. Expect to practice IFS primarily with adult clients at first.
Many clinicians start by applying IFS in adult therapy, couples, and family counseling. Programs often plan to extend training modules for child and adolescent work as demand grows.
When choosing training, check that the program includes practical supervision and cases relevant to your work. This helps you integrate IFS into your practice safely and effectively.
Considerations for Choosing Internal Family Systems Therapy
Think about your goals before starting IFS. You may want help with anxiety, depression, life transitions, or relationship issues.
IFS focuses on parts work and self-leadership. It fits well if you want deeper emotional understanding.
Check who the therapy is for. IFS is primarily used with adults, though some clinicians are expanding into child and adolescent work.
Ask whether the therapist has specific training in IFS and experience with your concern.
Decide on format and location. Many sessions are virtual now, with about 60–70% offered online and 30–40% in person.
If you prefer face-to-face work, in-person options are available in the Chicago area through Tides Mental Health.
Review practical factors before you start. Confirm session length, frequency, and costs so they match your schedule and budget.
Also ask about confidentiality, crisis plans, and how progress is tracked.
Think about fit and safety. You should feel heard and respected.
If you have a history of severe trauma, ask how the therapist integrates trauma-informed care into IFS.
Questions to ask a potential IFS therapist:
- Do you use IFS with adults and adolescents?
- How much of your practice is virtual versus in person?
- What training do you have in trauma-informed care?